I am a naughty mommy, according to Kiddo 1. This charge is generally leveled at me when she has received a reasonable consequence after multiple, completely fair warnings.
There are some definite ways I suck as a mom (as per the definition I have created in my head as a result of reading too many well-intentioned blogs and Facebook memes). (Don’t you dare argue with me and tell me I’m a great mom; you aren’t my child, so how would you know?)
1. I lose interest in playing with toys after about 5 minutes.
2. I am impatient.
3. I love to be busy.
This creates a perfect storm of being a sucky mom, by my definition I use only for myself. I want to use March to be the month I redeem myself in my own eyes, because those are the only eyes that are on me (or in me?) all day long. Hopefully cards 10-13 will help me be a mom I respect.
Card 10: Three hugs per person (in my home) per day
This was just going to be for the kids, but really, how rude would it be to exclude the hubs. So three hugs for all! And I mean good hugs, where I squat down to kid level (but not for the hubs, LOL). Kiddo 2 will probably run at me like a linebacker and knock me on my tuches, but I have no shame so no problem there.
How it went: I am thrilled to report that this one is going really well. In fact, I was probably already doing this one without realizing it. However, I am being far more intentional about the hugs. I am not just doing it in passing, pressing a random head to the outside of my leg while arms wrap around said leg. I am more frequently (though not always) getting down to their level for a “good hug.” Feeling good. :D
Card 11: No work or Facebook after the kids get home from school
This is going to be hard, and also not hard. Not hard because I already get no work done after the kids come home, even when I try. Hard because Facebook is much quicker to access and use than my laptop/brain. I am planning this for the second week of march because the last week of March starts spring break and the goal makes less sense as part of our school routine/home routine I am trying to build. To enable me to accomplish this card, I will shut down my laptop before I pick up the kids, and I will throw my phone in a lake.
How it went: This is still hard. I’m not working, and I’m not on Facebook, but I’m reading the New York Times and listening to podcasts, so I’m still distracted. Baby steps are in order I think. I’ll work on hiding my phone a half hour earlier each day this week until I am at a good place with this goal.
Card 12: Speak gently and look deep in their eyes
This one makes me laugh, because I am not a gentle person by nature. I am more tornado than soft breeze. So, I will attempt to control the speed of the wind that will be coming out of my mouth (windy city girl all the way!). I have zero idea how I will do this…might just take brute force. Ha. Brute force to become gentle…Sigh. Help.
I do think this will be good for the kids if I can manage it. I want to look deep in their eyes at least once a day, so they know that I am present and listening intently to them. I am hoping after a couple months of speaking gently to them, they will speak more gently to each other.
How it went: I have been a bit more gentle than usual, but honestly, I have not been working on this with any sort of purpose at all. I have come to realize that only my goals that are attached to other goals or have pop-up reminders on my phone get done. I will trouble shoot this situation for April.
Card 13: Drink water and dance in the morning
I am excited about this, but afraid it will make us late for school, with needing to get music playing before I have had my coffee (everything happens before I have had my coffee because I put my needs last if the kids are up, not on purpose, just how it goes). I did this once and enjoyed it; the kiddos told me to stop dancing. The water is important for general hydration (might reduce my crabbiness?), and pairing it with dancing….well there is no reason. I just want to do both.
How it went: Total Fail. Bahahaha. Yeah…. I really didn’t follow the rules with this goal, read why here.